Vikings of Bjornstad - Bjornstad Photo Gallery

Being a Viking reenactor can provide some interesting opportunities. The Vikings of Bjornstad have appeared in documentaries for the History Channel, taught Norse culture at university level, been featured on the Food Channel and even provided extras for a NASA Ames publicity photo shoot. But what may have been the most unique event came in 2017 when we were approached to provide some “color” for a Game of Thrones-themed birthday party. The lady in question had reserved a full San Francisco restaurant and wanted to get her guests in the proper mood. We were asked to give a presentation entitled, and I kid you not, “What To Do If Someone Tries To Kill You During This Dinner.” This invitation to give a decidedly Not-Politically-Correct talk was undeniably appealing. As you can imagine, we had fun putting it together. We were asked to provide four speakers. Deciding which of our members got to go was not easy – everyone wanted to participate. Not only were we to be paid for our little presentation, but we would be served a gourmet dinner. And we got to approximate Game of Thrones attire.
Kaleigh, Henrik and Brian	Henrik, Jack and Brian
Ultimately, Kaleigh DuLac enlightened the guests with a discussion of poisons one could bring to a dinner like this - and what could be done to an opponent’s squishy bits with the spoons, knives, forks and dinnerware at hand. Brian Agron, a retired imaging technician, with a pretty good stock of anatomical knowledge, told the attendees where exactly that dagger or seax should be inserted to do the most damage. Henrik Olsgaard covered a broad range of weapons and attack strategies. I’m a sword fanatic and decided to combine physics and fantasy in ten minutes I called “Fast, Hard and Often”. Since the guests were, uniformly, young adult couples, I felt the need to remind them my subject was swordplay. What follows is my contribution, no doubt altered considerably by the passage of time, memory being what it is these days. FAST Getting into a swordfight is a serious business. You want every movement to be as effective as possible. And that means getting the most from a hit. Most of us are familiar with the basic physics formula F=MA, Force equals Mass times Acceleration. Since Acceleration equals Velocity divided by Time and Velocity is Distance divided by Time, a good swordsman should be aware of the fact that the force delivered by his or her blade is directly proportional to the SQUARE of the speed of the blow. In other words, hitting a little faster delivers a much more forceful blow, especially over the tiny surface area of a sword blade’s edge. Slow and steady may win a race, but it's not the way to win a swordfight. HARD The Viking sword is not a finesse weapon used for delicate slicing cuts. Its target is frequently protected by a shield or a mail shirt. A lightly delivered cutting attack may not do any damage at all. On the other hand, a forceful attack could shatter a shield or break bones underneath that mail even though there’s no cut. Further, if you were to watch a high-speed video, slowed down, of a good Viking sword clanging against something metallic, you would observe a point about 2/3 the way up the blade where vibration (in one direction above and the opposite below) is minimized. That point is the Center of Percussion, more commonly called the “Sweet Spot”. That’s the spot where a sword attack does the most good - and is least likely to break your blade. Swing away if you're in a sword fight; this is no time to be gentle. Landing a hard blow even slightly off-target is going to be distracting enough that the next one will be more effective than it should have been. OFTEN There’s a brilliant sequence in the 1960 movie Spartacus that every warrior should watch. The new gladiators are being taught how to survive their turn in the arena. The tough-as-nails instructor uses a baton wrapped with cloth dipped in paint to swab colors on Spartacus, the newbie gladiator, to illustrate where attacks will (Red) guarantee an instant kill, (Blue) immediately injure your opponent severely or (Yellow) disable him - eventually. A fatal wound may still allow your opponent to kill you before they stop moving. It's an important lesson to learn. Your last fantastic attack might not have done the trick - yet. Keep swinging.
Screen capture from Spartacus (1960)
Combine that visual image from Spartacus with what you should have learned from every bad horror movie ever made. Bad guys just don’t die when you think they should. The remedy is simple: Don’t stop attacking until there’s no question that your opponent is thoroughly, completely and permanently dead. It can be fatally embarrassing to be killed by someone who immediately follows you to the Elysian Fields - or Valhalla. THE END And there you have it. My advice for the neophyte sword fighter is to hit Fast, Hard and Often. Do that, hit roughly what you’re aiming at - and win. My further advice is not to try any of this at home. We’re reenactors – not Viking warriors in the Great Heathen Army of 865 AD – and none of this applies to us. Criminal codes, moral concerns and the victim’s enraged friends and family can ruin your entire day. Imagine a grinning emoji inserted here And our audience at the birthday dinner in San Francisco? They loved us! Bjornstad was a hit. That just left us trying to get home after midnight in Henrik’s car. Its steering wheel had a Club locked to it. The key? Left at home.